Just Another Bump in the Road

Some people choose to face difficult times by curling up on the couch with a big bowl of ice cream. If it is me, I usually top off that bowl with some fresh baked chocolate brownies. To a lot of people things like a broken bone, a lost job, or a nasty breakup would be enough to put them on that couch. There are other people that are able to accept everything that happens, good or bad, with grace and dignity. No self-pity. Never uttering or even thinking "why me." These people make the decision to face adversity, big or small, head on. My wife Angie is one of these people. She is a firm believer in God and in His complete sovereignty over all things. We both believe that every left turn and every right turn we have ever taken were all a part of God’s plan for us. That He doesn't give us more than we can handle, and that it all happens for a reason.

When Angie was just seventeen and a freshman at Baylor University, she was diagnosed with a rare juvenile case of Macular Degeneration. Within a year she was declared legally-blind. She lost all of her central vision, but she was still able to see out of the corners of her eyes. Her driver’s license was taken away. Her parents wanted her to come home, thinking that school was going to be too much of a struggle. That it would be too much of an adjustment for her to be able to work through. It is hard enough gettung used to college life without a life-changing medical condition. Angie refused. She was determined to remain at school. She would accept the challenge that God put in front of her without feeling sorry for herself.

One of the things Angie started doing was running. To her running meant much more than just exercise. She used it as a method of transportation, as a time to speak with God about her circumstances, and as a symbol of her independence. When I say running, I’m not talking about a casual three to five miles a couple of times a week. Nope. Angie decided now was the time to start training for marathons. And if that wasn't enough, she decided she would get up the nerve to get on her bike and compete in triathlons as well.

Angie went on to finish school with a degree in Health and Fitness. She continued to compete, although never checking the box on the entry form that said "physically challenged". Turns out that we met while she was competing in a triathlon on the west coast of Florida. It didn't take us long to figure out that we were meant for eachother. After just three months of dating, we got married. Being a triathlete and runner myself, we went on to compete in a number of triathlons, marathons and even a couple of ultra-marathons. After doing a couple of regional and the pinnacle of all triathlons—the Ironman. In 2001, Angie became the first ever physically-challenged female to compete in the Ironman Triathlon World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. To this date, she has completed a total of four Ironman triathlons and thirty-six marathons.

Over the past seven years she also gave birth to three beautiful boys, Austin (7), Tinley (5) and Blaze (1). Angie has been a business owner, starting with a health club, and then moving on to baking her own nutrition bars. Along with those responsibilities, she was typically running from fifty to ninety miles a week. Some of it was for training, but a lot of it was for transportation. She has been a familiar site to the drivers in Fort Lauderdale as she was often seen pushing all of the boys in a triple-jogger all over town.

Things started to change a few months ago. Angie was feeling tired. Granted, anyone running as much as she was while managing their own business, and being a mom to three active children has reason to be tired. But for Angie, this wasn’t a regular tired feeling. She had days that she didn’t want to get out of bed. She had bouts of vomiting. She wasn’t able to run as far, as fast, or as often as she had for the last few years. She had been to doctor after doctor trying to figure out what was going on. She was diagnosed with bleeding ulcers. She had kidney stones. She was anemic. We wouldn’t find out until later that these were all just small things compared to what she was really facing.

In October of 2007, Angie competed in her fourth Chicago Marathon. For the first time in the thirty-year history of the race, the organizers wer forced to cancel the event after it had started due to an unseasonable heat wave. With a heat index over 100 degrees, they ran out of water and were rushing people into the medical tents to get intravenous fluids. By the time they cancelled the race, Angie was already at the 22 mile mark. For Angie, and the runners around her, they had the choice to stop and sit on the side of the road for a shuttle to take them to the finish line, or they could walk to the finish line. Angie had never dropped out of a race, or even walked during one. She would have kept right on running if the police officers on the sides of the road hadn’t ordered everyone to walk or be pulled off the course. She walked to the finish line, but if they hadn’t stopped her from running, she may not have finished alive.

After returning to Fort Lauderdale, Angie was still weak and tired. She had pain in her back and it was bad enough that we went to the hospital for what we thought was just going to be a procedure to help get her kidney stones out. When the operation was over the surgeon knew that it wasn't her kidney stones that were putting her in so much pain. He knew the pain was from something else but just couldn’t pinpoint what it was. After three more days in the hospital, Angie was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. She had an enlarged heart that was only working at 10% of its capacity. The blood that wasn’t getting pumped through her system was backing up, causing her organs to shut down and fluid to gather in her lungs. She had gone into cardiac arrest and spent another week in the cardiac intensive care. They sent her home wearing an external defibrillator, and orders to rest. Although for the first time in her life, she didn't have the energy, or the desire to go for a run.

The doctors told her it would be a few months before they can determine if the medications she is on will make enough of an impact on her heart, or if she will need to be put on a list for a transplant.

The doctors told her that had it not been for all of the exercise she has done, she would not have lived this long. If she hadn’t lost her vision all those years ago, she may not have become the elite athlete she was, or even met me. Everything happened for a reason. God has a plan for each of us. We may not be able to make sense of everything right when it happens, but His plan is revealed eventually.

"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me (Psalm 23:4)

Today is a day that I need to remind myself that God has a plan for us. I need to remember that everything that happens to us, happens for a reason.

Angie went back for a follow-up appointment with her cardiologist this morning. It has been a little over four weeks since she left the hospital. She has been feeling great. Her energy level has been improving steadily. She has been walking anywhere from two to three hours each day. And yes, I am her husband, but let me just say that she is drop-dead gorgeous. You would never look at her and think she is really sick.

So when we headed to the doctor's office this morning, we fully expected to hear that her heart was getting stronger. That the whole "congestive heart failure" thing was just some crazy fluke and that she could get back to her Ironman Triathon, ultra-marathoning ways.

Instead what we heard was that her heart has not shown even the slightest bit of improvement. We heard that she would be getting a pacemaker/defibrillator implanted on January 10th. He said that they were going to increase her medications to see if they can get the heart muscle to recover. They are going to wait a month or so longer before deciding what the next course of action, including the possibility of a heart transplant.

When Angie got in the car and called her earthly father, she told him, "I really thought he was having me come in to congratulate me on a miraculous recovery and to take my picture for some medical journal."

I think I was closer to breaking down into uncontrollable sobbing than she was. She is strong. All I need to do is look at her and I remember that she has a strength and a power inside of her that is the foundation for who she is. She is a true believer in Him. By being a living example of her faith, she has made me a believer as well.

She is not afraid of what may happen. She doesn't get upset about the challenges that she has already faced, or that lie ahead. She has peace knowing that there is a reason she has gone through these struggles. One of the reasons, whether she knows it or not, is that she has saved my life. Not once, but many times since we have been together.

I didn't break down in front of her. When I was alone, and as I type this, the tears make their way down my face and onto the keyboard. As much as I know there is a reason for all of this, I don't like that my one true love should ever have to feel any pain or fear - ever. I just ask that anyone who reads this to please raise Angie up in your prayers.

Every left turn, every right turn. Amen.